Manage your stress

What is stress?

Stress seems to be one of the commonest words in the English language. And it’s heard more and more often – in the workplace, in the home, on the roads … But what is it?

It’s more than just pressure. Pressure can be a good thing – something to motivate and challenge us. Stress could be seen as negative pressure – pressure that drags you down and makes you achieve less.

So is stress simply a description of excessive pressure, for example at work or in the family? No! Stress occurs when two things happen – you believe the situation you face is too demanding, and you don’t believe that you have the skills to cope with it.

The signs of stress

The signs of stress are many and varied. Psychological symptoms include increased moodiness, anxiety (or even panic attacks), short temper and tearfulness. Stress can lead to depression, anxiety, impaired thinking and loss of self-esteem. You may also find that you are doing certain things such as taking more time off work (or spending too long at work), losing concentration or hiding yourself away.

There are also physical symptoms of stress, such as headaches or migraines, muscular tension, loss of interest in sex, feeling exhausted and sleeping badly. High blood pressure leads to an increased risk of heart attack. Exhaustion combined with a weakened immune system leads to an increased risk of illness. And then there are the social costs, such as relationship difficulties.

Learning to recognise the symptoms of stress is important, as this is the first step to tackling the true causes.

Challenge your negative thinking

The definition of stress given above shows how important our beliefs are in creating stress. When we are stressed we tend to think that our beliefs are facts. We also express our beliefs (either to ourselves or to others) in an exaggerated way. So we constantly say things like ‘I must be treated with respect’ or ‘This is appalling – I can’t bear it!’ or ‘I’m completely powerless.’

These are beliefs, not facts, and they need challenging. Otherwise they result in stress. Replacing unhelpful and unrealistic negative thinking is a key part of stress management. Instead, ‘coping statements’ allow you to deal with situations in a more constructive and positive way.

Act more effectively

Thinking patterns are important, but they are not the whole picture. There are so many things that you can do to reduce your stress, depending on what your personal triggers are, and what is causing your stress reaction.

Effective interventions include the following:

learning to be aware of holding tension in your body, and to relax physically (breathing exercises are wonderful in this respect)
organising your time and overcoming procrastination so that you get the important things done as and when you need to
managing your anger by understanding its causes and defusing it before you lose control
improve your communication skills by learning to be assertive and not taking things personally.

How coaching can help

Your physical and mental health will improve, leading to a stronger immune system, greater ability to relax and improved productivity and relationships. Most important of all – you will be given the tools to become your own coach, so that you can take control of your life in a stress-free way.

Together with your coach you can work out a stress management plan. This will be forward looking and goal-oriented, taking into account all aspects of your life – your thinking skills, exercise, diet, social life and work-life balance. There may be an emphasis on anger management, or assertiveness, or relaxation techniques, depending on your personal triggers and stress responses.

Take action now!

Kim Richardson - working for your success in Stroud, Gloucester, Cheltenham and throughout the UK

To make an appointment or to find out more, phone Kim on 01453 751457 or email him at kim@stroudcoaching.com.