Relieve your anxiety

Almost everyone worries – in fact worrying can be a healthy response to realistic concerns. But if you find that you are worrying excessively, then this becomes a problem in itself. It can spoil your life. You could be worrying about your family, your health or your finances. You may be anticipating the worst at every opportunity. Or you may be anxious in certain situations, such as giving a talk or a performance or meeting people socially. You may even have a phobia that you want to conquer, such as a fear of spiders.

What causes anxiety?

Anxieties and worries are basically fears. Often they stem from a time in your life when something bad really did happen, and you get into the habit of worrying that it will happen again. You lose confidence in your ability to conquer the fear, and find that it is easier to dwell on it – to worry – rather than to do anything about it. But this sets up a vicious circle, since by not trying things out you never get the evidence to prove that you can in fact be effective – a problem solver rather than a worrier.

The consequences of anxiety

Being anxious greatly affects how we think and behave. It undermines our confidence in ourselves, so that we can become indecisive, ineffective or constantly put things off (procrastinate). It can make us self-absorbed or insecure. It means that we lack concentration and become less effective at what we do, which then feeds back into the basic anxiety.

Anxiety can also have physical effects, such as rushes of adrenalin and sleeping problems. It can make us stressed and tense and less attractive to be with.

Learning to recognise the symptoms of anxiety is important, as this is the first step to doing something about it.

Challenge your negative thinking

Our beliefs and images are hugely important in reducing anxiety. When we are emotional we tend to think that our beliefs are facts. We also express our beliefs (either to ourselves or to others) in an exaggerated and unhelpful way. So we constantly say things like ‘It will never work’ or ‘I can’t do it’ or ‘He will get angry if …’

These are beliefs, not facts, and they need challenging. Replacing unhelpful and unrealistic negative thinking is a key part of reducing anxiety. You must learn to replace your old beliefs with new ones - more realistic, positive and helpful messages which will allow you to deal with situations in a calmer and more constructive way.

Act more effectively

Thinking patterns are important, but they are not the whole picture. There are so many things that you can do to lower your anxiety, depending on what your personal issues and circumstances are, and what triggers your negative feelings.

Effective interventions include the following:

• taking action rather than just worrying about something – breaking a task down into steps can help
• confronting your fears – gradually exposing yourself to the feared situation in a controlled and guided manner
• taking physical activity and improving your diet, to change the focus from your mind to your body
• relaxing – especially via breathing and visualisation exercises – to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
  

How coaching can help

Together with your coach you can work out how to confront your anxieties in a problem solving, effective way. This will be a forward looking, motivational and goal-oriented approach, taking into account all aspects of your life – your thinking skills, exercise, diet, social life and what triggers your negative feelings. There may be an emphasis on perfromance anxiety, phobias, self-confidence or assertiveness, depending on your personal needs. Most important of all – you will be given the tools to become your own coach, so that you can take control of your life in a calm and grounded way.